A Day in School as an Introvert (the struggle)


Wait, why am I here again? Right, I’m trying to be more social. Okay. At least there’s snacks. This is, uh, fun. When do I leave? Okay. 9.30, which means I’ve been here for exactly
85 minutes. Minus my 10-minute escape to the bathroom
and the 20 minutes I walked their dog. That should be enough, right? It’s not weird if I leave now. I mean I came, I…ate. The music was good. I’ve had a good time. I’m about to have a better time finishing
that book tonight but, this has been good, too. Wait do I say bye to everyone? Absolutely not. I’m just gonna leave. Introverts. We’re about a third to a half of the population
so we’re not exactly some distinct species, yet some people seem to not understand us
and find us to be weird and strange or think we’re all miserable or lonely—failing
to understand that not everyone thrives on external stimulation and that not everyone
needs as much of it. Opposite to some beliefs, the misery isn’t
being an introvert, but rather being one yet feeling like you need to hide or change who
you are as an attempt to adapt to your surroundings—perhaps because there’s a gap between who you are
and who you want to be, or at least, who you think you should be. Now, this is especially apparent in our early
years here on this beautiful little planet called earth. See, when you’re in school, at least in
my days (like..5-6-7 years ago) the most common mantra wasn’t exactly be your true authentic
self and go on a self-exploration journey, but rather try not to be the outsider and
make sure someone picks you at group projects so you don’t feel like a loser. Exchange “group project” for something
else and this might remain true in other situations in life as well. This is because human beings naturally seek
acceptance. We want to belong, and it’s quite fascinating
and rather frightening how far we’ll go just to fulfil those needs—so far that we
sometimes stop caring about who it is we’re really being accepted by and where it is that
we are really wanting to belong. Those things become of less importance to
us, and perhaps that’s why we sometimes end up in bad company and sometimes trouble—because
hey, it’s still company. And sometimes, in the process, that bad company
end up being ourselves. Be what others expect of you – get their approval
– live happily, or, miserably, ever after. The formula many people are way too familiar
with and one that many of us fail to break out of. As for school, I’ve been on both sides of
the spectrum. I’ve had a lot of friends, a social lite—and
I’ve also had no friends and no social life—using the term friends rather loosely here, perhaps
friendly company is a better word, since today I’d define friend as someone you have a
connection with, as for back then, I think the definition was more of something like
someone to keep you company. I’ve also been somewhere in the middle. Like many other people in school, I guess
I was seeking some sort of external approval rather than focusing on approving of myself,
by doing what I thought I should be doing, because it was the only way that seemed normal
and acceptable. You should think hanging out after class is
fun. You should look forward to getting to know
new people. You should love the first few weeks of university
because they’re packed with super fun social activities. And the thing is, I did enjoy those things,
a lot of introverts do— but at a lower dose than most people around me seemed to enjoy
it. Like, a much lower dose, let’s be real. Of course, I know now that about a third to
a half of everyone else were probably right there with me, but many of us are expert pretenders. As Susan Chain wrote “…so many people
pretend to be extroverts. Closet introverts pass undetected on playgrounds,
in high school locker rooms, and in the corridors of corporate America. Some fool even themselves, until some life
event — a layoff, an empty nest, an inheritance that frees them to spend time as they like
— jolts them into taking stock of their true natures.” And it’s not like we pretend in order to
be deceiving in some evil type of way. We just want to avoid being judged or being
asked questions like why we’re so shy or why we don’t talk more. See, you don’t exactly want to tell people
you don’t have plans but that you still don’t want to hang out because you’ve
already spent 8 hours a day, 5 days a week in school and you just want some time to yourself. You don’t exactly want to tell people you’re
leaving early because you have a limited amount of energy that you can spend on social settings. You don’t exactly want to tell people you’d
rather study alone because that’s how you get your best work done. But we should say those things. If I could, I would encourage my younger self
to do so. Because, why the hell not? It’s all this pretending that makes introverts
feel misunderstood when in reality, there are so many other people out there just like
them, or, us, and we’re not just doing ourselves a disservice by hiding our truth, but we’re
doing a disservice to so many other people as well. Now, I don’t exactly remember what that
life event that Susan Chain talks about was for me—the one that jolted me into taking
stock of my true nature. I wish I did—perhaps it would make a pretty
cool story. I simply stopped feeling guilty for saying
no, which actually lead me to saying yes more often. I stopped stressing about how other regarded
me, which made think more of how I regarded myself. I stopped worrying about not socializing enough,
which… yeah, no, definitely did not make me socialize
any more. Now, this doesn’t mean you don’t challenge
yourself. This doesn’t mean you don’t step out of
your comfort zone. Pushing yourself is important, but there’s
a fine line between pushing yourself out of your personal desire to grow versus out of
the idea that you need to live up to some standard to satisfy those around you. I personally definitely don’t do that enough,
but I’m trying. At the end of the day, it just means be yourself. Yeah. That’s what I’ve been trying to
say for the last 10 minutes..

100 thoughts on “A Day in School as an Introvert (the struggle)

  • February 16, 2020 at 6:14 pm
    Permalink

    Next time someone asks you why you're leaving early, you…:
    a) Excuse yourself with being tired
    b) Tell them you have someone waiting for you – your book and bed
    c) Lol no one asks me

    Reply
  • February 18, 2020 at 9:51 pm
    Permalink

    I am introvert 🙂
    Sometimes extrovert is annoying and depressing because of non stop questions about my personality. And i wonder why they can't ask their self why they're so annoying.

    Reply
  • February 18, 2020 at 9:52 pm
    Permalink

    Your usual thoughtfulness Lana.

    Funny as well 🙂

    Wish good things for your website.

    Reply
  • February 18, 2020 at 10:13 pm
    Permalink

    Im ambivert… I like extrovert and introvert people.. With introvert you could talk and have very deep interesting chat. With an extrovert you just could have pure fun and joke around, but they usually dont take serious some things ..The only thing I hate is fake people…

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 12:26 am
    Permalink

    Ha I am seen as shy but people really never ask me "Why are you quiet?" …well, at least not yet.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 1:21 am
    Permalink

    Thank you. Yes we are not alone.
    I usually sit alone (in office in seperate bay deliberately) my productivity is 3x more

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 1:57 am
    Permalink

    She is beautiful

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 2:35 am
    Permalink

    First that BBC Ideas video and now this I love how people are talking more about this. I have been doing this for the past 1 and a half years trying to pretend to be someone I'm not and the liberation you get from stopping it is absolutely worth it.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 4:52 am
    Permalink

    I treat time like a currency. I must spend it wisely. Spending it on alone time seems to be the most effective use of this currency for me.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 5:02 am
    Permalink

    I’m really shy, I have social anxiety and I’m half introverted, but when I try my hardest to be extroverted, what I say comes out wrong and what I meant to say, I didn’t say.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 5:03 am
    Permalink

    You re so pretty

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 5:07 am
    Permalink

    Pfft that's totally not me I'm much more secure than this…. Am I ?

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 6:38 am
    Permalink

    Bro she really looks like nargis fakhri! (A famous bollywood actress)

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 8:22 am
    Permalink

    I love you LANA

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 8:42 am
    Permalink

    For the 10 minutes I thought a friend who is also like me is giving advice

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 9:49 am
    Permalink

    Your beautiful lana

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 10:09 am
    Permalink

    Never felt so low when nobody wanted me to be a part of their group in school projects just because I was quiet and they felt that I wasn't interesting enough.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 10:14 am
    Permalink

    Love you

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 10:35 am
    Permalink

    I'm an introvert and i socialize every damn day but i never thought i could do that

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 10:57 am
    Permalink

    She is awesome 😎 l like her face 😍

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 11:03 am
    Permalink

    It's 10x worse if you are an introvert with a resting b face. People will think you are a mean person and get intimidated. Or even hate you for no reason…

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 11:48 am
    Permalink

    You keep your head locked too much on one side. It's bad for your spine.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 11:55 am
    Permalink

    beautiful video. the nature shots were so pretty.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 12:28 pm
    Permalink

    Well Im pretty introverted too whereever I go.

    16 y.o introvert squad where ya at

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 12:30 pm
    Permalink

    As introvert 16 y.o guy I actually only fell for 2 introverted girls so far

    F

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 12:31 pm
    Permalink

    I need to know if the man/ girl in the camara is an introvert o an extrovert

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 1:15 pm
    Permalink

    Thank you for making this video.. this is exactly how i'm feeling right now

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 1:45 pm
    Permalink

    Friendly company

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 2:07 pm
    Permalink

    just another day in school

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 3:00 pm
    Permalink

    Reading books is something I need to make a habit of.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 3:01 pm
    Permalink

    I don't talk even i am a genuine person because I can see their perspectives and attitude on life by little things they did, it reflects who they truly are. I isolated myself to avoid getting attached with the wrong people in my life. Also I enjoy a friendship with deep, meaningful sit-down talks other than modern kind, sticking together and hanging out to do nonsenses. I may not often see them but believing that they are there by heart and to admire the fact that their presence on the earth and the tiny chance you could meet them are absolutely beautiful.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 3:04 pm
    Permalink

    Nobody listens

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 3:07 pm
    Permalink

    I am an introvert.i act like a maniac when they ask me that question cause it is annoying.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 3:21 pm
    Permalink

    Whenever I say that there is someone waiting for me they gaze at me and reply- who would like to talk to boring persons like you. I feel like to give a nasty cunning reply but think on should I really say something and then later end up with not uttering anything.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 3:28 pm
    Permalink

    "Why are you so quiet?"

    Me: "coz I'm busy with something and it's not time for socializing"

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 3:40 pm
    Permalink

    Some of us just have loud minds, we actually convince ourselves we said something when we didn't

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 3:49 pm
    Permalink

    It’s an actual struggle when you have dissociative identity disorder , where your randomly an extreme introvert or an extreme extrovert

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 3:58 pm
    Permalink

    You are so insanely pretty

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 4:09 pm
    Permalink

    Well…being an introvert SPECIALLY in school saved my life for good, I've discovered my true self, focus in my studies, learning about rich mindset and much more
    I look now at my class mates, what can I say…just fighting for each other pleasures 😕

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 4:19 pm
    Permalink

    'what does it mean to be yourself'….when our whole personality development is actually influenced by the people around us….meaning thereby, the kind of interactions we'd in past (since childhood) have majorly resulted us to be like our present self……so what is our contribution in 'being ourselves'?

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 4:25 pm
    Permalink

    Couldn't describe it better. well done!

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 4:28 pm
    Permalink

    Your videos are well put together,nice editing.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 5:14 pm
    Permalink

    the most annoying part is when people accuse u of being quiet even when u try to act extrovert!

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 6:02 pm
    Permalink

    THE LIFE OF AN INTROVERST IS SO FUCKIN BORING BECAUSE I LIVE IT EVERYDAY AND I LIKE

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 6:18 pm
    Permalink

    I don't know with you guys but if this was my video, it would just be 30 seconds cuz after I finish my classes, I go back to my house and stay in my room for th remaining day

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 6:33 pm
    Permalink

    We feel alone when we are surrounded by a lot of people but we don’t feel alone when we are alone if you know what I mean

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 6:42 pm
    Permalink

    That's me right there

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 7:02 pm
    Permalink

    I want to say thank you. For making me feel better and understand myself better. I feel recharged and inspired after watching your videos.
    Love what you do and how you express yourself.So,yeah, thank you for making my mind calm. Wish you a good day.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 7:14 pm
    Permalink

    The feeling of not belongin and wating to leave has more to do with how comfortable you are with the people present than being an introvert. Extrovert just generally tend to be more easily comfortable with new groups of people. It's a correlation not causation

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 7:17 pm
    Permalink

    💛Love😊💜

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 7:40 pm
    Permalink

    Why is that others find silence so unnerving and boring? Some of us just prefer solitude. Some of us just want to get away from this noisy world that we live in. Not sure why but I've always held this internal thought and feeling that I don't belong here or that I 'm not from here. It's hard to articulate. 😅

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 7:45 pm
    Permalink

    Being an introvert is odd. I get lonely pretty frequently (especially because I work at home) but I also LOVE my alone time.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 8:31 pm
    Permalink

    does climate and geography has affect on being introvert?
    I am also living in Sweden and I think I am introvert in Sweden but as soon as I see go out of the country and meet other people I do not feel myself introvert. I see I am too social and love to talk to people.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 9:01 pm
    Permalink

    Love the photography! Stay strong! All the best 👍🏻💪🏻

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 10:03 pm
    Permalink

    our entire school system is built for extroverts.
    where i live a big part of your grade is depending on how much you say during class, and my introversion and fear of judgement often keep me from doing that. i'm working on it, but i need my time and this entire system isn't really helping

    Reply
  • February 19, 2020 at 10:12 pm
    Permalink

    Introverts need to speak up and stop pretending to be something ur not , once I embraced my Introversion I started to actually like myself

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 1:21 am
    Permalink

    But on the other hand

    The extreme extroverts cant not talk even even forget to raise their hand and get in trouble for disrupting the class .

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 1:59 am
    Permalink

    Man do I love you now!! 😂 No for real I’m an introvert

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 1:59 am
    Permalink

    Being extrovert is not being special lol, why you do so much videos about this

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 2:12 am
    Permalink

    there is nothing wrong with us… we just like to watch/observe and use our mind without bragging our hidden talents… we are the natural watchers, unique personality detached to common practice of life.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 2:46 am
    Permalink

    Introverts aren’t actually quiet they just don’t want to talk to people they don’t like, they can talk a lot to people there close with

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 3:32 am
    Permalink

    People drains me 😂😵

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 3:32 am
    Permalink

    Most introverts were bullied and considered themselves victims.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 5:06 am
    Permalink

    You described my childhood ……….
    I notice that it happens to be girls who get questioned about their quietness and it seems like people are used to guys being quiet and brooding but girls are expected to be constantly happy, extroverted, and always express their feelings like no honey that is not reality …………..

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 6:11 am
    Permalink

    Your videos are well articulated, insightful and refreshing. "Do I say goodbye to everybody? Absolutely not" looooool felt that one!

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 6:13 am
    Permalink

    Faster at texting than speaking with your friends in real life.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 6:16 am
    Permalink

    Quiet people are actually talkative around the right set of crowd. Quiet people are also the wisest ones!

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 6:17 am
    Permalink

    Hello fellow introvert

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 6:18 am
    Permalink

    Iam being ok
    some day❤

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 6:33 am
    Permalink

    Why are you so beautiful?

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 7:38 am
    Permalink

    Thank you for this wonderful video. I am seventeen years old living in Germany and I alwwys struggled being kind of introverted. People would always say to me that its a mistake being an introvert. That the way I behave is wrong but I always told them: Thats me, thats how I am. Seeing that i am not the only one who thinks and behaves this way makes me happy. I shouldnt feel drustrated that I am not that social as extroverted people. Being an introvert is awesome, you have so so many opportunities in kife to do, so many hobbies you can do at home for example drawing, playing the piano, just reading a book. We see the true beauty in nature because we are often little dreamers. I am glad being introverted I wont let an extrovert tell me to behave again, I am also just an individual human! <3

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 8:05 am
    Permalink

    Life is short lets not make it hard for ourselves thanks Lana❤️

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 8:17 am
    Permalink

    Why are u so quiet?
    1. Idk
    2. Idk what to say
    3. I'm shy
    4. Idk why i'm shy
    5.i'm shy ok
    6.idk 😭

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 8:18 am
    Permalink

    In my head I’m actually the world’s famous person

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 8:32 am
    Permalink

    It always amazes me how when a young woman or man (17,18,19 year olds) isn't a party animal or doesnt go after boys or girls, but would rather stay at home in their freetime and chill out and like to be by themselves/isolationist are called weird or outcast. There are different people with different interests and different personalities and that's called empathy

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 9:30 am
    Permalink

    Introverts – stems more, from my perspective, of having been born terminally insecure. Have no skills, abilities, talents. Not well educated. Screw everything up that I attempt. So, at age 60, successfully alone, never having dated, let alone married. The world longs, lauds, & lusts after the type A guy to get ahead & conquer/crush those below him. We need type A people, so type B (or C, if there is such a thing), can have a job, for if it were up to me, nothing would get accomplished. The dirty secret of this world is that we are all striving to be content, but we are not allowed to be so. If you are in sales, for example, try telling your boss you are comfortable. You will be summarily terminated. Yup, the world system!

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 9:46 am
    Permalink

    My best friend is an introvert and I’m an extrovert together we are crackheads

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 9:55 am
    Permalink

    Okay cmon introverts are not so lonely!!

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 10:31 am
    Permalink

    It's been 2 seconds and I already relate to this so hard…

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 11:05 am
    Permalink

    I used to be an introvert ( a really bad one ) until I realised it wasn't healthy for me. I remember when I was in grade 10 and I felt as if nobody wanted to be my friend so I would find ways on my recess and lunch to make it seem I was busy such as going to the library or pretending to read books I wasn't even interested in, I did that for about 5 months until I asked a group at school if I could hang with them so I did because I didn't want to seem lonely and I was bored too😐. Anyways I would sit with them in a circle everyday at recess and lunch, I wouldn't say anything because it seemed what I wanted to talk about wasn't interesting enough so I just sat there miserably.For me being an introvert made me very unhealthy and very depressed. When I was doing homeschooling before I went back for grade 10 I didn't socialise with anyone plus my school was next too me in the same lonely neighbourhood, I never went anywhere as well, I only had my family for company, when it was Fridays and I had to go to youth group I would beg my mum not to make me go because I was so scared 😳 what people would think of me so I ended up panicking a lot. After those experiences of mine I've been slowly transitioning to being more social and trusting other people. I do homeschooling right now but I have a job which has made me get out of my comfort zone and began to realise nobody really cares what I look like or what I'm doing, so it's made me less insecure but I'm still learning though.Ive recently been attending karate lessons which is nice because I've always loved sport and I quit because I didn't believe in myself I was unmotivated. I have learnt a lot and what I have learnt is too not distance myself away from people otherwise you might be attacked with self pity thoughts (depends on the person) even though I did get hurt I've had too forgive them so I can move on. But don't get me wrong there are some days I want to be alone all day long but when I am alone by myself I just realise that it's an entirely different atmosphere no one else just me, myself and I. I know probably no one might read this but please don't be scared to go out of your comfort zone it took me many tears 😭 to overcome my insecurities and I'm still learning but I'm proud of myself for coming this far. I wish the best of luck to all of you whatever journey your on.
    Stay positive 😊and smile more😀

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 11:55 am
    Permalink

    I hate myself when my friends ask me "why are you so quiet?"😞
    I don't answer to that question and I just smile to them even thought
    I feel ashamed with myself. That's really my biggest insecurity 😢😢.They always asks me that question and it makes me really sad.I hate and ashamed everything about me.Please help me..😭😭

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 12:06 pm
    Permalink

    Introverts here✋

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 12:10 pm
    Permalink

    72 Dislike from introverts

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 12:11 pm
    Permalink

    Btw you dont look like introverts. You look like a model who got so much confidence.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 12:15 pm
    Permalink

    No one:

    Lana: Looks at bare hand to find out time

    This video – Story of my life

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 12:23 pm
    Permalink

    yall, we introvert lowkey are crackheads..i mean, big crackheads

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 12:51 pm
    Permalink

    thanks

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 1:20 pm
    Permalink

    You’re sooo gorgeous!…♥️♥️♥️

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 1:20 pm
    Permalink

    You have people that actually think before they speak, and people that will blurt out anything.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 1:32 pm
    Permalink

    A C C U R A T E

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 3:14 pm
    Permalink

    "Why are you so quiet?"
    1. I struggle explaining
    2. My blood boils, and my head goes "statically"

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 3:17 pm
    Permalink

    Yeah, so what fo you do when you are forced to socialize?

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 3:22 pm
    Permalink

    Introvert does not equal to shy and having social anxiety

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 5:10 pm
    Permalink

    My mind is my best friend.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 5:27 pm
    Permalink

    thank you

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 6:27 pm
    Permalink

    I am an introvert but in same time i'm like a magnet for peoples, like wtf? Sometimes i just want to be alone

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 6:51 pm
    Permalink

    I fucking hate school . They don't understand that some people need a fucking space . I want to stay calm in a calm place am i asking for impossible thing ?. No one understand me even my teachers i'm so sick of this

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 7:58 pm
    Permalink

    i thought i was weird, turns out i'm an introvert

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 8:32 pm
    Permalink

    There are kids dying in Africa, how is being introverted a struggle?

    Reply
  • February 20, 2020 at 9:17 pm
    Permalink

    You are still school student?

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *