Teach girls bravery, not perfection | Reshma Saujani


So a few years ago, I did something really brave, or some would say really stupid. I ran for Congress. For years, I had existed
safely behind the scenes in politics as a fundraiser, as an organizer, but in my heart, I always wanted to run. The sitting congresswoman
had been in my district since 1992. She had never lost a race, and no one had really even run against her
in a Democratic primary. But in my mind, this was my way to make a difference, to disrupt the status quo. The polls, however,
told a very different story. My pollsters told me
that I was crazy to run, that there was no way that I could win. But I ran anyway, and in 2012, I became an upstart
in a New York City congressional race. I swore I was going to win. I had the endorsement
from the New York Daily News, the Wall Street Journal
snapped pictures of me on election day, and CNBC called it one of the hottest
races in the country. I raised money from everyone I knew, including Indian aunties that were just so happy
an Indian girl was running. But on election day, the polls were right, and I only got 19 percent of the vote, and the same papers
that said I was a rising political star now said I wasted 1.3 million dollars on 6,321 votes. Don’t do the math. It was humiliating. Now, before you get the wrong idea, this is not a talk
about the importance of failure. Nor is it about leaning in. I tell you the story
of how I ran for Congress because I was 33 years old and it was the first time
in my entire life that I had done something
that was truly brave, where I didn’t worry about being perfect. And I’m not alone: so many women I talk to tell me that they gravitate
towards careers and professions that they know
they’re going to be great in, that they know they’re
going to be perfect in, and it’s no wonder why. Most girls are taught
to avoid risk and failure. We’re taught to smile pretty, play it safe, get all A’s. Boys, on the other hand, are taught to play rough, swing high, crawl to the top of the monkey bars
and then just jump off headfirst. And by the time they’re adults, whether they’re negotiating a raise
or even asking someone out on a date, they’re habituated
to take risk after risk. They’re rewarded for it. It’s often said in Silicon Valley, no one even takes you seriously
unless you’ve had two failed start-ups. In other words, we’re raising our girls to be perfect, and we’re raising our boys to be brave. Some people worry
about our federal deficit, but I, I worry about our bravery deficit. Our economy, our society,
we’re just losing out because we’re not raising
our girls to be brave. The bravery deficit is why
women are underrepresented in STEM, in C-suites, in boardrooms, in Congress, and pretty much everywhere you look. In the 1980s, psychologist Carol Dweck looked at how bright fifth graders
handled an assignment that was too difficult for them. She found that bright girls
were quick to give up. The higher the IQ,
the more likely they were to give up. Bright boys, on the other hand, found the difficult material
to be a challenge. They found it energizing. They were more likely
to redouble their efforts. What’s going on? Well, at the fifth grade level, girls routinely outperform boys
in every subject, including math and science, so it’s not a question of ability. The difference is in how boys
and girls approach a challenge. And it doesn’t just end in fifth grade. An HP report found
that men will apply for a job if they meet only 60 percent
of the qualifications, but women, women will apply only if they meet 100 percent
of the qualifications. 100 percent. This study is usually invoked
as evidence that, well, women need a little more confidence. But I think it’s evidence that women have been socialized
to aspire to perfection, and they’re overly cautious. (Applause) And even when we’re ambitious, even when we’re leaning in, that socialization of perfection has caused us to take
less risks in our careers. And so those 600,000 jobs
that are open right now in computing and tech, women are being left behind, and it means our economy
is being left behind on all the innovation and problems
women would solve if they were socialized to be brave instead of socialized to be perfect. (Applause) So in 2012, I started a company
to teach girls to code, and what I found
is that by teaching them to code I had socialized them to be brave. Coding, it’s an endless process
of trial and error, of trying to get the right command
in the right place, with sometimes just a semicolon making the difference
between success and failure. Code breaks and then it falls apart, and it often takes many, many tries until that magical moment when what you’re trying
to build comes to life. It requires perseverance. It requires imperfection. We immediately see in our program our girls’ fear of not getting it right, of not being perfect. Every Girls Who Code teacher
tells me the same story. During the first week,
when the girls are learning how to code, a student will call her over
and she’ll say, “I don’t know what code to write.” The teacher will look at her screen, and she’ll see a blank text editor. If she didn’t know any better,
she’d think that her student spent the past 20 minutes
just staring at the screen. But if she presses undo a few times, she’ll see that her student
wrote code and then deleted it. She tried, she came close, but she didn’t get it exactly right. Instead of showing
the progress that she made, she’d rather show nothing at all. Perfection or bust. It turns out that our girls
are really good at coding, but it’s not enough
just to teach them to code. My friend Lev Brie, who is a professor
at the University of Columbia and teaches intro to Java tells me about his office hours
with computer science students. When the guys are struggling
with an assignment, they’ll come in and they’ll say, “Professor, there’s something
wrong with my code.” The girls will come in and say, “Professor, there’s something
wrong with me.” We have to begin to undo
the socialization of perfection, but we’ve got to combine it
with building a sisterhood that lets girls know
that they are not alone. Because trying harder
is not going to fix a broken system. I can’t tell you how many women tell me, “I’m afraid to raise my hand, I’m afraid to ask a question, because I don’t want to be the only one who doesn’t understand, the only one who is struggling. When we teach girls to be brave and we have a supportive network
cheering them on, they will build incredible things, and I see this every day. Take, for instance,
two of our high school students who built a game called Tampon Run — yes, Tampon Run — to fight against the menstruation taboo and sexism in gaming. Or the Syrian refugee who dared show her love
for her new country by building an app
to help Americans get to the polls. Or a 16-year-old girl
who built an algorithm to help detect whether a cancer
is benign or malignant in the off chance
that she can save her daddy’s life because he has cancer. These are just
three examples of thousands, thousands of girls who have been
socialized to be imperfect, who have learned to keep trying,
who have learned perseverance. And whether they become coders or the next Hillary Clinton or Beyoncé, they will not defer their dreams. And those dreams have never been
more important for our country. For the American economy,
for any economy to grow, to truly innovate, we cannot leave behind
half our population. We have to socialize our girls
to be comfortable with imperfection, and we’ve got to do it now. We cannot wait for them
to learn how to be brave like I did when I was 33 years old. We have to teach them
to be brave in schools and early in their careers, when it has the most potential
to impact their lives and the lives of others, and we have to show them
that they will be loved and accepted not for being perfect but for being courageous. And so I need each of you
to tell every young woman you know — your sister, your niece,
your employee, your colleague — to be comfortable with imperfection, because when we teach
girls to be imperfect, and we help them leverage it, we will build a movement
of young women who are brave and who will build
a better world for themselves and for each and every one of us. Thank you. (Applause) Thank you. Chris Anderson: Reshma, thank you. It’s such a powerful vision you have.
You have a vision. Tell me how it’s going. How many girls
are involved now in your program? Reshma Saujani: Yeah.
So in 2012, we taught 20 girls. This year we’ll teach 40,000
in all 50 states. (Applause) And that number is really powerful, because last year we only graduated
7,500 women in computer science. Like, the problem is so bad that we can make
that type of change quickly. CA: And you’re working with some
of the companies in this room even, who are welcoming
graduates from your program? RS: Yeah, we have about 80 partners, from Twitter to Facebook to Adobe to IBM to Microsoft
to Pixar to Disney, I mean, every single company out there. And if you’re not signed up,
I’m going to find you, because we need every single tech company to embed a Girls Who Code
classroom in their office. CA: And you have some stories
back from some of those companies that when you mix in more gender balance in the engineering teams,
good things happen. RS: Great things happen. I mean, I think that it’s crazy to me
to think about the fact that right now 85 percent of all
consumer purchases are made by women. Women use social media at a rate
of 600 percent more than men. We own the Internet, and we should be building
the companies of tomorrow. And I think when companies
have diverse teams, and they have incredible women
that are part of their engineering teams, they build awesome things,
and we see it every day. CA: Reshma, you saw the reaction there.
You’re doing incredibly important work. This whole community is cheering you on.
More power to you. Thank you. RS: Thank you. (Applause)

100 thoughts on “Teach girls bravery, not perfection | Reshma Saujani

  • March 9, 2018 at 3:06 am
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    Since when were girls taught to be perfect? Has she ever STEPPED IN an actual school before? Maybe she should stop pushing her liberal agenda and actually talk about something worthwhile.

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  • March 9, 2018 at 3:29 am
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    Girls being afraid to be wrong wtf I have been to school and girls always speak there mind they tell at me in wrong and that my opinion doesn't matter and teachers agree stfu

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  • March 9, 2018 at 3:38 am
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    Jesus said for His true followers to be "perfect" as our Father in Heaven is perfect. (see holy Bible Scripture, Matthew 5:48)
    Yes, this is the direction of truth and Jesus is the truth.

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  • March 9, 2018 at 3:50 am
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    Teach girls how to wash dishes not science.

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  • March 9, 2018 at 4:10 am
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    "Teach girls bravery, not perfection." The woman in high heels and 5 pounds of makeup. lol Hypocrite.

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  • March 9, 2018 at 4:19 am
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    This video is sexist against men first of all men are worse in school because men can't focus as well not because women are smarter the brain to body ratio is much larger. Just because women have to be baby sit and nurtured from a nipple

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  • March 9, 2018 at 4:33 am
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    Women are so problematic.

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  • March 9, 2018 at 4:34 am
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    Islam might be the last hope

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  • March 9, 2018 at 4:57 am
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    Why teach girls to be brave? Society needs men to be able to care and protect their women when the metaphorical turd hits the fan. Women being brave would seem like a waste if you ask me considering they are genetically valuable.

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  • March 9, 2018 at 5:15 am
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    Socialist created this event..

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  • March 9, 2018 at 8:32 am
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    meh…the free market takes care of all

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  • March 9, 2018 at 8:35 am
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    teach girls how to make sandwhich's …. all good now

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  • March 9, 2018 at 4:56 pm
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    Gender equality ✌😀✌

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  • March 10, 2018 at 4:36 pm
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    8:34 "and sexism In gaming" -Reshma Saujani "DO YOU WANT A FUCKING SLAP" -Zero Lenny

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  • March 10, 2018 at 9:26 pm
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    I saw the word TED, so I thought it was a joke from the movie TED

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  • March 13, 2018 at 10:18 am
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    Is there perhaps a minuscule chance that girls who treat their education with the utmost ungratefulness are the same girls who simply believe that the socialisation of perfection is not something that someone necessarily needs to strive for?. Even if we looked at the other side of the spectrum when a boy is again caught up in the socialisation of perfection not only because of the education system in which they are currently partaking in but the society and the civil issues placed around them we are still implying that this same boy should not also be helped out of the hole he has had dug. We must acknowledge that every human being is not the same whether it be in term of opportunity or skill. However, our nature demands us to be able to help those in need, so why not all of us instead of one of us?.Of course, perfectionism is not a worthy goal to achieve, being able to develop as a person, being able to strive to fail and being able to strive for the sake of discovery is what makes the human endeavour so unique. Why does our education system not educate people to be humans? because our education system isn't education of any of these virtues, it is the education of perfectionism and in that sense I do agree with the esteemed speaker here. However, simply personifying this problem as a problem with the principles of our education system is flawed. Is is a problem with the society, it's sterotypes, it's social constructs and it's lack of humanity

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  • March 14, 2018 at 4:24 pm
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    A game called "Tampon Run" to fight stigma and imaginary sexism? Building an app to help Americans get to the polls (which could mean almost anything)? Helping to make an algorithm [emphasis mine] to diagnose cancer because [tear-jerk]?

    These are social achievements, not technical.

    Here are some boasts that a good coding teacher should be able to make:
    "One of my students wrote a game that has earned $1200 on Google Play. Another has solved over 50 problems on Project Euler. Several have contributed to major open-source libraries."

    If she can't make such boasts, then her students are not learning to code well, and if she's boasting about these feel-good projects then I suspect that they're learning nothing but virtue-signalling and self-congratulation.

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  • March 15, 2018 at 6:04 am
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    OH NO the poor poor girls we must coddle them even more

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  • March 15, 2018 at 6:20 am
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    WHAT ? because women use the internet MORE then men they should become coders? SO using this bogus "logic" all tampon factories should be 100% staffed by women cause they use the product 100% [[ YOU'VE just been mansplained BAM!!!

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  • March 16, 2018 at 10:52 am
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    I know bravery is necessary for good coding, but so isn't the caution? You'd catch so many bugs in no time if you're completely careless.

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  • March 17, 2018 at 5:59 pm
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    #killthefear i love this

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  • March 22, 2018 at 6:08 pm
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    Girls are underrepresented in STEM because of institutionalised bias, not because they lack bravery. Don't ask girls to change their behaviour to fit into a broken system

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  • April 5, 2018 at 12:19 am
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    I DO LOVE THIS ONE!

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  • April 15, 2018 at 5:13 pm
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    POWERFUL 💪💪💪

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  • May 25, 2018 at 9:46 pm
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    girls talk about equality and then they demand girls only institution
    then demand for women only companies and then a country or island
    these girls/womens r so unfare to boys/mens
    in future…boys will say..save us

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  • June 1, 2018 at 9:56 pm
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    I was 32 when I decided to go back to school to become a computer programmer! It was the bravest thing I have ever done. I was used to be being a perfectionists, who struggled with fear of failure. But, I knew I had to try and get out there. I have a daughter, and I wanted to teach her to never give up, to always learn, and to never be afraid to try. That lesson started with showing her how to start. It is a scary thing as a woman in tech. I feel as though the learning process and application of code is different between men and women. And the struggle is the communication gap on how to show that you do have the ability to process requests, but how do you have confidence to build it and show it!

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  • June 2, 2018 at 12:32 am
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    girls can be as brave as boys due to the differences in hormones which drive differences in behavior and cognition. the social constructs compliment these realities of our nature.

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  • June 9, 2018 at 3:13 pm
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    It's biology that makes boys brave. Not how they are raised. Idiot.

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  • June 12, 2018 at 7:05 am
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    This is so true, I struggle with being brave in the workplace while my male colleagues take risks easily and so they get promotions faster.

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  • June 13, 2018 at 4:31 am
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    I'm 33 and I feel like I'm just now learning to be brave, to shed the fear of imperfection…. Amazing talk, thank you!

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  • June 14, 2018 at 12:20 pm
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    This is so offensive and not true at all. She literally makes out men to be strong, brave and empty headed primal cavemen who lack the intelligence to realise the danger of the risks they are taking and they lack common sense. I do not agree with that. Her point is about equality again (but not so much) – I understand that perfectly . The part that hurt me and offended me most is when she said that boys only need to cover up 60% of the qualifications to apply for a job and women need all 100%. Just because we were born males, that doesn't automatically make us dumber than women

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  • June 17, 2018 at 10:40 am
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    I thought we were teaching our boys toxic masculinity??

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  • June 21, 2018 at 1:29 pm
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    I wish i could dislike all the dislikes personally.

    They're so close-mimded! And mostly men😑

    She's not saying every single thought process of a girl is perfection over risk. She's saying, we limit ourselves sometimes because perfection should be the only possible outcomes and if not then we sometimes throw in the towel.

    I grew up climbing walls, trees, running too hard or rough, but I wasn't necessarily boyish or something. I was quite girly actually. So obviously when she says boys jump from high head first, I didn't relate. But Ted talks aren't about relating to 100% of a speech. They're about finding the aspect where you need self improvement and tweeking it in you!!!

    I did coding in my first year. I hated it so much and I honestly didn't even do a project that contributed to 25% of my final mark. I didn't even try.
    And sometimes I got somethings right and surprised myself but most of the time I'd rather not.

    Now that I think about it. I was just like the girl who showed nothing, except clicking undo on my attempts wouldn't even reveal anything. The fear that I wouldn't get it right scared me more than trying.
    And the guys around me and maybe one or two girls actually had the courage to ask where the code may have went wrong. I feared doing so because I didn't want the teacher to be surprised by my imperfections I guess…

    Don't fucking tell me about biology because if that were the case, then men would take risks 100% of the time and women would play it safe 100% of the time. And that's not so, the potential is there!
    I REALLY like this talk!!!!
    There is some truth to this. Not 100% accuracy but there is some truth to this.

    You guys have cluttered the comments section!!!! 👎

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  • June 26, 2018 at 10:42 pm
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    이제서야 이 강의를 보다니..!

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  • June 28, 2018 at 9:25 pm
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    Boys get the opposite, raised to be brave and ‘be a man’. This isn’t fair. Girls are raised to be calm, pleasant and polite and ‘be ladylike’. For both genders this can be bad for them.

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  • July 2, 2018 at 8:35 pm
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    As a woman, as a one person who want to educate children future, it’s the nicest video I’ve seen recently. This shows me a different new kind of vision. I love muay thai. But, it was scaring to me at first. Because I haven’t done any martial art like this before and also it seemed pretty tough. I was scared that I can’t do this perfectly. How was the result? I just started to go to the gym with nobody and with yes, courage. It turned out so fun, active thing. It made me have a peaceful, strong mind and sometimes helped getting know the way of my life when I’m in the struggle. I know what is this video going to tell about, and want to share this feeling of bravery with my girlfriends, my future girl students! Thank you

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  • July 4, 2018 at 9:31 pm
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n691pLhQBkw 'nuff said.

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  • July 5, 2018 at 5:39 pm
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    i absolutely love this video and what not!

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  • July 5, 2018 at 5:40 pm
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    i don't understand why people hate this so much! hey, just don't mind the haters

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  • July 5, 2018 at 6:10 pm
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    Random person that dares to read the comments below, I warn you of terrible things. Please do not continue if you don't think you can handle people that get triggered easily. Be safe, random person, be safe.

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  • July 8, 2018 at 9:46 pm
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    It’s scary that I thought I was a confident woman, and yet I saw myself in many examples you have stated, where I put myself down. Eye-opener. For the better. Thank you.

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  • July 15, 2018 at 6:38 pm
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    Teaching kids perfection is a big problem in Japan and many other countries- for boys and girls.

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  • July 19, 2018 at 10:06 am
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    The reasons why woman all over the world are unhappy (according to stats) is because this type of woman suggesting girls to be someone who they are not biologically, bad things happen when you mess with nature. The infinite amount of tries to make girls same as boys will backfire on girls only. She's like a kidnapper kidnapping girl's happiness with sweet talks. I know girls will not agree with just because I am a man, but all I can say is wait and watch, or be prepared at least 😉.

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  • July 19, 2018 at 7:49 pm
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    One of my favourite TED talks!! 🙂

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  • July 21, 2018 at 4:44 am
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    sufiyan Ahmed

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  • July 23, 2018 at 3:53 pm
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    My dad just emailed this to me……Wtf

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  • July 29, 2018 at 6:31 am
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    While this is a Point of view, I don’t understand why should we be making women like men. This ridicules the whole point of why -Men and women are created different..sad to hear such thought and talks

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  • July 31, 2018 at 1:26 am
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    I would note that though feminism is defined as equality, that was long ago when gender rights were much more black and white. There is now nuance to gender equality movements. Some dictionaries have changed their definition of feminism due to this. There is still a feminist movement but recently, and unfortunately, the leaders of this movement have changed and falsehoods have perpetrated them. I suggest the rational people on both sides should join in a new movement to achieve actual equality and listen to both men and women who are being hurt by gender roles and stereotypes. I have been hurt but stereotypes and my brothers and sisters have been too. Instead of "Teach girls bravery, not perfection" we should teach everyone to be who they are based on their personality. Studies show that most of gender roles are purely due to nurture, not nature. This isn't a girl's issue, this isn't a boy's issue. This is a human issue. So can we all grow up, and work together to fix the damn thing.

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  • August 2, 2018 at 7:00 am
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    Boys look at your classmates / colleagues from work. Who have the best notes? In terms of cleanliness, organization, structure… Not saying some guys do it too! They do. But within social sciences every statement is made using generalizations. That's what statistics is about. Look at your surroundings. Who is more worried about their physical appearance? Society teach us (boys and girls) to compete continuously with ourselves, to never be enough, but the pressure is bigger for girls, as well as for other historically discriminated groups. That's why class and race play an important role in this discussion too.

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  • August 7, 2018 at 6:06 am
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    Just not books and pens. Also Give them beliefs from their childhood that they are strong enough to pursue what they want.Just dont frame them and keep in illusion that they are treated equally but feed their brains with the beliefs, knowledge that they are strong, brave and unique from the begin. Tell them no words, no acts can divide the world into male and female and how they different in terms of pursuing their dreams. All they need is one single step and keep going.

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  • August 7, 2018 at 1:36 pm
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    She makes a lot of mistakes. These characteristics are seen in Chimpanzees…as well. So whether this is social conditioning or evolution we dont know as we have evolved from chimpanzees. Class 5 maths is memorised. Girls do better than boys even in class 12 boards(which is agian a stupid exam)…However if you look at SATs and Olympiads there is a stark difference between boards and these exams. In the manner of the exams and the performance of boys and girls in them as well…This is a woman who has not done her homework….If you look at SAT scores the ratio of Boys to girls is 3:1. If you look at olympiads in mathematics the participant number is 9:1. And she is assuming here that a life with a traditional job with time for family is somehow inferior to being a CEO and working 70-80 hours a week with 5 hours of sleep and having to pick up calls during your sleep. She doesnt prove that just states it.

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  • August 16, 2018 at 4:30 pm
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    a very inspiring and unique and awesome speech…..thank u ted x

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  • August 20, 2018 at 10:23 am
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    This is traffic lecture. You're great speaker. so inspiring. This patriarchy society need to fix this. They need to fix producing images of women being standing behind men. protected by men, supporting men to success. This is done in this generation. This is done!

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  • August 23, 2018 at 6:30 am
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    I loved the comparison with boys asking someone out on a date! I live in Italy and here (but I heard that in other countries is not the same) it’s pretty common opinion that it should be only boys (man) job, and if a girl tells that the asked a guy out many people will be really surprised about how “brave” (maybe not in a good way) she is… and if she gets a refusal, she will be seen really more like a loser that if a guy did… I heard many times the sentence “if a guy gets a refusal, never mind, but if it’s girl, that’s very bad” … of course it’s a different topic than women pursuing jobs in STEM, but I believe there is a common way of thinking

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  • August 28, 2018 at 7:43 am
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    It’s quite logical if you think about it from a historical perspective. A female could not afford to dive head first at any moment when she had babies to care for. A male was courageous, he went to hunt and to fight and could potentially die at any moment while she had to stay alive. She could also be courageous and could even die in a fight protecting herself and her children but she had to be really smart about which risks she could afford taking. Playing it safe can sometimes take you further than diving head first at any occasion.
    Not saying though that teaching girls some bravery at our day and age is a bad thing.

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  • August 31, 2018 at 7:40 pm
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    There are advantages to risk seeking and to risk aversion. If your only goal is equal representation, then Reshma's advice is surely correct. But as a society, we are comfortable with washed up old men who have wasted their lives and squandered their connection with family. We are appalled by similarly situated mothers. If we tell little girls to take more risks, one of the consequences will be greater numbers of mothers who fail in life (not that they don't exist already). I think that if you put this question to women who are currently mothers (Are you OK with X more fortune 500 CEOs who are female and Y more congresswomen if it means Z thousand additional mothers who fail at life) you would get a genuinely mixed response.

    When I thought I would have a girl, I was very committed to accepting this trade off. But I wound up with two boys, so now the decision is being made for somebody else's little girls, and I find that I am much less confident that this is the right path. Certainly a great many men would have led better lives if they had been more risk averse. Also certainly, society is better off (at least today) with more risk seeking behaviors. There isn't a right answer, and this simplistic formulation hides the stark consequences.

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  • September 8, 2018 at 12:11 am
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    I teared up. Amazing

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  • September 9, 2018 at 4:34 am
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    Thank you Reshma for this talk, and your book. I'm reading your book now with my daughter, who wants to get into Tech.

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  • September 17, 2018 at 6:10 pm
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    She is not psychiatrist or psychologist ? Wtf she is talking about ?

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  • September 20, 2018 at 11:27 pm
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    Why r yall so triggered she mentioned in the first 5 mins that boys r alrdy taught to be brave so why not girls as well? I dont see any conflict, I only see encouragement

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  • October 16, 2018 at 9:24 am
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    Women make different choices. Stop trying to make up bullshit fantasies about why there's not an equal outcome of women in high powered jobs, it just makes you look like a moron.

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  • October 28, 2018 at 3:25 pm
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    Ladies and gentlemen, this talk is not exhaustive, but it is valid.

    Just because it does not cover all the sides of gender issues in society (which are probably too many to cover in one TED talk), it does not mean it is lying. I see myself 100% on the girls she describes, exactly as she describes them, and therefore I believe she has a point. There are many like me, and all of the others ones I can think of that suffered the same issues are overprotected straight As girls. People are people, and men and women share similar issues in many, many cases. I am sure there's tons of boys going through similar issues! I know it. We are people. The trend she describes, however, is true in my personal experience. Anybody getting As all the time does not perfectly equal success later on in life, and many times it is the people that fail terribly at school that learn from failure and move on to greener pastures in adulthood. That doesn't mean other examples aren't real. That doesn't mean other realities aren't valid.

    Just because she isn't covering every side and detail doesn't mean she should shut up. She didn't reach her conclusions out of the blue. I am proof of that, sadly, and so are the boys and girls she speaks of in the video. In order for us to get a good grasp of reality we are going to need much more viewpoints, experts, and examples. Before you conclude she is biased, listen to her. Just listen. You don't have to agree. Please, listen.

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  • November 2, 2018 at 6:05 am
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    Girls and Boys all act tough, we are, we are all pepole, we are all the same DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!

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  • November 2, 2018 at 6:18 am
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    I relate to many of the male pepole, no one understands me, it's like… I wish I could truly connect with someone, share my feelings, I don't care if that person is female OR male! I'm a female, I AM the boss i want to feel imortant, to feel wanted, I pretend I'm something and someone i want to be but in truth I'm as hard as titanium on the outside with an eternal flame inside, I have a side of me that just wants to give up, to run away, to hide and never come back out, I am like water, I can be tough and destructive, but I can also be soft, helpfully and kind. I am glad to be me, all I ever need is someone to hold me down to earth, and that is what all my friends do for me, I could never ask for better friends, t hank you. You are the reason I have gotten so far in life, you are the reason I am the strong woman i am today.

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  • November 11, 2018 at 5:54 pm
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    https://youtu.be/34Isl0RElYw

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  • December 22, 2018 at 11:17 pm
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    I have a daughter I love more than anything. Thank you for this! life-changing!

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  • January 3, 2019 at 12:01 am
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    Teach girls not to be sexist like this speaker.

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  • January 13, 2019 at 6:08 pm
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    The ignorance in this comment section is cancerous. Literally. Absolutely. Cancerous.

    What can you expect from men though? Most don't want their fucking egos hurt. Assholes.

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  • January 19, 2019 at 4:39 pm
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    This is so me I really need to start being brave and not always striving for perfection

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  • January 25, 2019 at 11:32 am
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    👍🏻

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  • January 25, 2019 at 11:37 am
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    정말 감사합니다! 최고의 강연입니다!

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  • February 10, 2019 at 3:24 am
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    저도 예시로 든 완벽주의 여성 중 하나라 너무 공감합니다 여성 분들 같이 용기냅시다

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  • March 7, 2019 at 4:57 pm
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    Listening on Women's Day😍

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  • March 8, 2019 at 7:24 am
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    Absolutely true.

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  • March 9, 2019 at 4:37 pm
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    That’s true.

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  • March 10, 2019 at 8:53 pm
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    THIS IS ABOUT LITTLE GIRLS NOT WOMEN
    the people in these comments are sickening

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  • March 11, 2019 at 12:53 pm
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    U think boys are stupid just because we have the balls to do stuff like that doesn’t mean we are stupid some girls do the same stuff not just us like that’s just like being a bully

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  • March 17, 2019 at 2:29 pm
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    Women we are strong and powerful. We dserve Equality! We are brave women!

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  • March 18, 2019 at 12:45 am
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    Girls gotta be brave 💜

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  • March 21, 2019 at 2:26 am
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    I tell my baby girls they're beautiful, of course. But way more often I tell them are courageous and brave. Challenge them. Encourage them. Already my 4 year old is incredibly strong of spirit and I love that about her.

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  • March 28, 2019 at 3:58 am
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    It touch my heart…….

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  • April 7, 2019 at 7:58 pm
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    My whole life my mother called me a Perfectionist, as an insult, not a compliment. My partner now also does the same. Turns out this was never true, they just programmed me that way by nit picking and putting me down when i didn’t do things that matched ‘their view of perfection’

    I now leave my house messy when mother is visiting. She can’t bear it. With partner i’ll deliberately screw something wonky in DIY and watch him squirm as HE can’t bear it.

    Turns out they expect me to be perfect, and when i ran around like a headless chicken trying to be ‘their perfect’ they then used that to label me and/or insult me.

    I was never a perfectionist but i have always been brave.

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  • April 19, 2019 at 1:23 pm
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    Professor, there is something wrong with me

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  • April 25, 2019 at 2:26 am
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    Another thing we need to keep in mind is that a lot of this insecurity we have comes from other women themselves. I can't tell you how many times I see it–women getting catty and tearing other women down for trivial things such as how well their eyeshadow is blended, their eyebrows, or their choice of clothing. Women will also hold grudges and violently bring back something small you did/said 5 months ago even if everybody's moved on. That's not to say men don't do the same, but my point is that we're scared of making little mistakes because even our own sisters will reprimand us for anything less than perfect

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  • April 28, 2019 at 1:18 am
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    This was so moving. I’m almost to tears. Fabulous speech.

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  • May 4, 2019 at 3:18 pm
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    Totally watched this after reading her empowering book "Brave, Not Perfect"! Thanks for your bravery, Reshma!! <3

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  • May 8, 2019 at 4:55 pm
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    So hyped…
    https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/threelly-ai-for-youtube/dfohlnjmjiipcppekkbhbabjbnikkibo

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  • June 4, 2019 at 8:18 am
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    She's not cute, i'm not gonna see his video. Maybe you, ted addicts, see it impartially but for the average viewer the looks of this girl it'a a big NO. Just a little reality

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  • July 2, 2019 at 7:22 pm
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    I believe young girls are afraid to make errors due to criticism and a lack of self esteem.
    Teaching coding and computers to girls can help raise their self esteem, and they can feel just as intelligent as boys in this field.

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  • July 13, 2019 at 7:04 pm
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    This is one of the best TED talks I have seen. Reshma is so inspiring and leading the world towards a better place for girls. She is my role model and mentor. I met her this week at Library of Congress in Washington DC and had the honor of speaking to her in person. She shared some useful hints about life in general for girls and how we should be brave and doesnt matter if we are not perfect.

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  • July 15, 2019 at 6:40 pm
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    I learned over the last elections that women do NOT vote for candidates based on gender.
    And yet, female candidates push gender so hard.

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  • July 15, 2019 at 6:43 pm
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    Really going out of her way to project an image.
    Globs of makeup, dangerously high heel shoes, pants way too tight for that figure.
    Politician? There is another profession that better fits that image.
    Though both professions are similar in values.

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  • July 23, 2019 at 1:27 pm
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    Love your message, Loving your book! Thank you for expressing it so well.

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  • July 24, 2019 at 6:07 am
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    Great

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  • August 12, 2019 at 4:21 pm
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    This was fantastic!

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  • August 12, 2019 at 6:23 pm
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    WHO UNLIKED THIS !!

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  • September 6, 2019 at 12:17 pm
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    Forget computer science — teach young girls to study whatever they damn well please in university!

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  • September 6, 2019 at 12:59 pm
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    She never defined what "brave" means to her. Many Feminists think a fat woman is brave for wearing a bikini. As for women holding back while men press forward, she might want to consider the effect of vastly different levels of testosterone between men and women

    I see differences in risk taking between male and female puppies and kittens.

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  • September 6, 2019 at 3:09 pm
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    Every Girls who code teacher tells her the same thing. Option 1: it's a problem common to all girls. Option 2: they know what she wants to hear.

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  • September 17, 2019 at 8:54 pm
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    Because when you think of successful women, you think of Hillary Clinton or Beyonce. rolls eyes

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