TSP’s A Day Before Exam Results


Press this BELL ICON to delay achieving life goals! Please Dad, I’ll score better next time. Please Dad! No..no…not my internet, noooooooo! Why are you always so hard on him? He looks so tired. Should I make some chapatis for you? *Nods* Do you even know how much Kusum’s
daughter scored this time? No, not my Xbox! 92% Not so soon, son. Dad, what are you doing with my laptop? Dad! No no no! Noooo! Hang on. This has to be a dream! But how do you wake up from a dream? There are two types of people in this world. First, who get shit scared. Second, who never get scared. But a day before the exam, everyone gets shit scared. Everyone works hard before an exam. But me… I work hard even before the results. Semester- 60% Prelims- 65% Unit Test- 70% Let me add 5% for sports quota in the average. Of course I’ll clear the exams. Right? This time, I spent my entire summer consoling myself. Not just that, I learned the names of all the
33 Million Gods too. Saraswati Ganpati Laxmi 33 Million + 2. Allah Jesus In short, I did everything possible
to get good results. Shit, that’s a bad omen. I did everything! Monty! This is Monty, my childhood friend. He visits me every summer to hog on
mangoes… and ends up ruining my life. Come on, Aunty. Who visits a
gaming parlour for 2-3 hours? Since we bunked school,
we had to play for 5-6 hours. What? You guys bunk school? Come on, Aunty. That was last year. This year we have tuitions too. So 7-8 hours is a must. What? You bunk tuitions as well? No no, Aunty. Now that 10th is over, there’s no school or tuition to bunk. So instead, we go steal Mercedes logos. Hello aunty! Just like every result day, Monty must be kept away from mom. “Oh brother Monty! Where hath thou been?” Let’s go to my room. I have mangoes. How many? Seven? Relax, dude. Even if you score less, there are so many other professions. You can go for Arts or Commerce. You are ugly enough to be a Youtuber as well. You don’t get it, bro! You know, my father is a surgeon. My mother is a scientist. My elder brother is wolf of the Wallstreet. Do you understand how much is expected of me? I can’t say to him that… Dad, I want to become a singer. Get out of my house and take your guitar with you! I can’t say that… Dad, I want to become a chef. Get out of my house and take your goddam spices with you! Chill, bro. There are other options as well. Take my dad, for example… When I was born, the amount of my mother’s salary
and facial hair, were more than my dad’s. So he left his job and became a house- husband. Now he chills every day, with our maid. That’s perfect. I’m going to tell him… Dad, I want to become a house- husband. Get out of my house and take your goddam son with you! No man, I can’t get my parents divorced. I think I should run away. Bro, why are you being a pussy? Chill out! Dude, why are you being a dick! Be stressed! I’m chill that way. A day before the exam results, I just help out my dad in household stuff. So he handles mom after the results. Try for yourself. Whenever your mom is doing something, just go and say… Mom, why are you doing this? Leave it to me. I’ll do it. Mom, why are you doing this? Leave it to me. I’ll do it. Mom, why are you doing this? Leave it to me. I’ll do it. Fine, do it. Pay the EMIs, get dad’s pants fixed and cook food too! Become a house- husband! Get out of my house… *echo* *echo* No no, Please continue. Sit! Your aunt called. She was asking about you. What did she ask? A day before the results, if you die… and face Satan, even he is going to ask you that… “What is Suraj’s Hall Ticket No.?” Your licence and all is fine, but what is Suraj’s hall ticket number? So the first question, for a thousand rupee blank cheque is… What is Suraj’s hall ticket number? Your options are… Suraj, Suraj! Why do you keep daydreaming all the time? Go get the door! This is Sachin, my junior. Being the second- child, he loves second- hand things. Hey friend, can I get your class 10 textbooks? I know you have them. Brother, I need them. Please. I have to give it for binding, put cover &
sticker on it, brother, I need them. Please. Irritating juniors should be like Dinosaurs. EXTINCT! *random comment on social issue* This is definitely a dream(Sapna). Hey Sapna, what brings you here? Your son is not lending his used books to my son, Sachin. Suraj, why aren’t you lending your used books to him? He must be flunking. Go Suraj, get your books. By the way, What is Suraj’s Hall Ticket No.? On an average, a student sleeps for 8 hours. 1 hour has 60 minutes and 1 minute has 60 seconds. That means 8 hours has 28,800 seconds. Everyone knows this. But a night before the results, you FEEL it. Fuuuuuck! Results. As soon as you enter the hall ticket number, time stops. Yes!! But when it resumes, 2 years have already passed. And with time, even the fear of results fades away. Whether you clear the exams or not, one thing is for sure. 28,800 seconds, meaning 8 hours is surely too little time to dream.

100 thoughts on “TSP’s A Day Before Exam Results

  • January 5, 2020 at 6:18 pm
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    90.4% in 10

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  • January 6, 2020 at 8:04 am
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    In 10th I got 95
    In 12th I got 93

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  • January 6, 2020 at 9:03 am
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    Mai 11th m hu aur meri 10th k result 71%. Hai but wo din mere life k sbse worst day tha quki family members kafi troll kiye the bhai k comparison aur mere dost k hmse ache mrks the but mai 11th m science liya aur starting sai lgg rha tha science leke glti ke de but iss duniya m kuxh bhi easy n hai aur yhi smgh k mai continue mhnt krr rha hu taki nxt year mera boards hai aur jee bhi aur usme mai kisi ko bolne k options ni du bss….

    So , Please mere liye Duwa/parathna krna

    Reply
  • January 6, 2020 at 9:24 am
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    Bhai kya inception – inception khel rhe ho

    Reply
  • January 6, 2020 at 9:40 am
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    10 th 72 / &12th 72

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  • January 6, 2020 at 10:10 am
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    10 =90%

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  • January 6, 2020 at 11:10 am
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    10th 96.37

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  • January 6, 2020 at 11:11 am
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    12 99.99999999% only im so disappointed pls help me in my bad times

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  • January 6, 2020 at 11:47 am
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    Mere 86

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  • January 6, 2020 at 11:50 am
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    Same 85 πŸ˜…

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  • January 6, 2020 at 1:44 pm
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    99 % aye

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  • January 6, 2020 at 6:34 pm
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    90.40 % in 10th and 70.46 % in 12th

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  • January 7, 2020 at 8:05 am
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    81 percent marks in 10th or 12th is baar baar hπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  • January 7, 2020 at 9:04 am
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    Some people are good in school, others are good in life.

    Reply
  • January 7, 2020 at 1:01 pm
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    97% in 10th

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  • January 7, 2020 at 2:56 pm
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    Mere 74% the

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  • January 7, 2020 at 7:17 pm
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    Screen patti more like screen tatti

    Reply
  • January 7, 2020 at 10:26 pm
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    10th-63%
    12th-69%
    Bsc-59%
    Today part time home tution and preparing for gov.job

    Reply
  • January 8, 2020 at 8:20 am
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    9.8 ch pa tha

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  • January 8, 2020 at 10:42 am
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    10th 58.6%
    12th 61.8%

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  • January 8, 2020 at 11:42 am
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    I have got 69% in 10th and 68%in 12th

    Reply
  • January 8, 2020 at 1:47 pm
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    Are benchod 10 me 85% lena chata hu lekin benchod teachers dhamki deti hai beta tujhe to pakka fail karugi assessment 5 milegi

    Reply
  • January 8, 2020 at 3:21 pm
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    Mera 95

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  • January 8, 2020 at 4:14 pm
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    Bhai, aap logo me se kis ki shakal 10th class me padne wale ki jaisi hei?

    Reply
  • January 9, 2020 at 8:13 am
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    86.4% in bseb 10th
    72.4% in bseb 12th
    80% in engineering

    Job b ki h ek saal and now preparing for good opportunities.

    Reply
  • January 9, 2020 at 9:53 am
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    90%

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  • January 9, 2020 at 10:32 am
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    10th present 67.33% rbse

    Reply
  • January 9, 2020 at 11:24 am
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    10th mein 91%

    Reply
  • January 10, 2020 at 12:26 am
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    10th -60 %
    12th-58%
    Now a lawyer going for jag Ssb. Given uttrakhand judiciary mains..yeh gadi thodi real struggle ki

    Reply
  • January 10, 2020 at 9:44 am
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    10th – 94.2%
    Currently in 11 science, final exams are next month .

    Reply
  • January 10, 2020 at 11:11 am
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    84.2% In Jharkhand Academic Council 10th
    73.6% In Jharkhand Academic Council 12th
    B.Sc(Hons) Phy 7.6 CGPA in St. Xavier's College Ranchi

    Reply
  • January 11, 2020 at 8:21 am
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    65percent up board 2010

    Reply
  • January 11, 2020 at 7:33 pm
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    8th 81%

    Reply
  • January 12, 2020 at 4:48 am
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    Kon kon ignou se h?

    Reply
  • January 12, 2020 at 9:45 am
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    93% the 10th me or ab 12th k dunga paper is saal . medical stream h

    Reply
  • January 12, 2020 at 11:47 am
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    I'm a primary school dropout

    Reply
  • January 12, 2020 at 3:44 pm
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    6 class 100%

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  • January 12, 2020 at 4:46 pm
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    47%theπŸ˜‚

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  • January 13, 2020 at 10:47 am
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    Iss baar cbse walon ne 12 ke sath dhappa kr diya thaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • January 13, 2020 at 11:32 am
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    74%

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  • January 13, 2020 at 12:41 pm
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    10th = 86%

    Reply
  • January 13, 2020 at 6:22 pm
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    10th ICSE: 97.2%
    Abb science lee rhi haiπŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • January 14, 2020 at 2:13 am
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    10th 97.43%

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  • January 14, 2020 at 5:06 am
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    72%

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  • January 14, 2020 at 5:21 am
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    98.5%

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  • January 14, 2020 at 6:07 am
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    Mere 10th me 66% aaye the and me happy hu iss result seπŸ™‚

    Reply
  • January 14, 2020 at 8:44 am
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    93 in 10

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  • January 14, 2020 at 10:03 am
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    98.5

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  • January 14, 2020 at 5:45 pm
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    Bhai mere 71% aye the

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  • January 14, 2020 at 7:48 pm
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    Class 10th 98%

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  • January 15, 2020 at 4:30 am
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    10th main 94 %

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  • January 15, 2020 at 12:40 pm
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    92:/:

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  • January 15, 2020 at 1:57 pm
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    92%

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  • January 15, 2020 at 3:20 pm
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    9th :: 94

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  • January 15, 2020 at 3:21 pm
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    9th:: 94%
    10th::92%

    Reply
  • January 15, 2020 at 4:07 pm
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    80%

    Reply
  • January 15, 2020 at 4:35 pm
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    10th fail hu

    Reply
  • January 16, 2020 at 9:58 am
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    mera 10th main 60% marks the.

    Reply
  • January 16, 2020 at 1:12 pm
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    abe tu puusy hai kya
    abe to dik hai kya

    Reply
  • January 16, 2020 at 7:13 pm
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    Jo v marks ka show off kar rha hai Bhuli mat chai kise multi hai πŸ˜‚

    Reply
  • January 17, 2020 at 1:25 am
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    90%

    Reply
  • January 17, 2020 at 8:35 am
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    10th =85

    Reply
  • January 17, 2020 at 8:52 am
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    94%

    Reply
  • January 17, 2020 at 9:56 am
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    10th mein 87.33%
    12th mein science 88.33%

    Reply
  • January 17, 2020 at 10:44 am
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    75 percent

    Reply
  • January 17, 2020 at 1:45 pm
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    Mere 53% hai or ab mey 11th me commerce lekr bhot khosh hnu..πŸ˜…

    Reply
  • January 17, 2020 at 2:12 pm
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    Mera bhi is baar yhi haal hone wala hai πŸ˜–πŸ˜žπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜΅πŸ₯΅ boards ka results πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯΄

    Reply
  • January 17, 2020 at 11:15 pm
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    Ye Youtuber bnne I lye kitne chahiye

    Reply
  • January 18, 2020 at 9:18 am
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    6.2 CGPA in 10th.😁

    Reply
  • January 18, 2020 at 10:03 am
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    71

    Reply
  • January 18, 2020 at 11:59 am
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    Failure is my life πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”

    Reply
  • January 18, 2020 at 12:41 pm
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    10 = 9.8 cgpa

    Reply
  • January 18, 2020 at 12:45 pm
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    10th mai I got:93.39β€’/β€’
    12th: baaki hai abhi

    Reply
  • January 18, 2020 at 1:49 pm
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    Mera board Mai. 1 month bacha haiπŸ˜ŽπŸ€”πŸ˜˜

    Reply
  • January 18, 2020 at 6:22 pm
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    10th mai 80 percent
    12th mai 78 percent

    Reply
  • January 18, 2020 at 8:37 pm
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    61"/,

    Reply
  • January 19, 2020 at 6:22 am
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    Mari 10 cgp bro

    Reply
  • January 19, 2020 at 6:56 am
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    10th mein 85.25 12th ke liye duwaye dijiye!

    Reply
  • January 19, 2020 at 7:23 am
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    95%🀩

    Reply
  • January 19, 2020 at 3:27 pm
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    10th me 54% and 12th me 96%

    Reply
  • January 19, 2020 at 5:07 pm
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    10 th mai 199%

    Reply
  • January 19, 2020 at 5:56 pm
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    100

    Reply
  • January 20, 2020 at 6:52 am
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    75

    Reply
  • January 20, 2020 at 8:03 am
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    Bhai same mere bhi 10th 58% hi tha

    Reply
  • January 20, 2020 at 9:32 am
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    93%

    Reply
  • January 20, 2020 at 1:58 pm
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    70%

    Reply
  • January 20, 2020 at 3:34 pm
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    54% from Haryana board to class 10th

    Reply
  • January 20, 2020 at 8:56 pm
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    10th-9.6cgpa
    12th-75%
    Now MBBS mein chutiya katt rha hai bc

    Reply
  • January 21, 2020 at 5:30 am
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    10th = 67.8%
    12th science = 68.2%
    Preparing for mbbs exam

    Reply
  • January 21, 2020 at 6:27 am
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    Mere 92% the

    Reply
  • January 21, 2020 at 6:58 am
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    10th – 85 prcnt

    Reply
  • January 21, 2020 at 10:41 am
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    Highschool 83.5%

    Reply

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